Step 10

This gestural and colorful painting encompasses my experience working through the tenth step of Alcoholics Anonymous. Step 10 reads as the following: "Continue to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
A personal inventory, in the eyes of Alcoholics Anonymous, is a list we create of the mistakes and wrongs we have done. For this piece, I chose to highlight my negative coping mechanism of self-harm. Throughout the painting are moments of muted and desaturated colors; these colors bring light to the shame, regret, and pain that accompanies self-harm. The scars on my forearm have a physicality to them, as I used a painting medium in order to create textured scars. Through the physicality of the scars, the viewers are reminded more of flesh than of paint. However, this painting also carries a happy message. The bright colors and loose brushstrokes convey the loving and hopeful relationship that I have with myself despite my defaults. The colorful background also reminds the viewers that life is beautiful and that no matter how many times we fall, we can always stand back up.